Average Joe SCOTUS – Azar v. Allina Health Services

So, let’s talk about Medicare.

There are recipients on Plan A, which are usually low income folks. They get assistance by Medicare paying hospitals directly for their services. HHS makes an initial payment to the hospital, then subsequent payments as necessary based on how much more the services may have cost.

Plan C people, are usually higher income people, and they just get a subsidy from Medicare to pay for private insurance.

The Medicare Act pays more for hospitals who treat the low-income peeps that usually use plan A. Cost adjustments are based in part on something called “patient days.” Don’t ask me to explain WTF that means.

But nonetheless, Plan A folks have way more patient days, than Plan C folks, and that shit matters here. I’ll assume that Plan A folks, just abuse government more, than Plan C folks are able to abuse a private insurer, because that’s pretty much always true.

HHS are who manage how much Medicare will pay, though. Initially, they were averaging only the Plan A “patient days.”

But, if they averaged Plan A and Plan C “patient days” together, Plan C brought that average number down a good bit. So HHS, busted out some math and shit, and were like, “We can save some scratch here, if we include these plan C people in our average.”

Allina Health was all like, “You cheap motherfuckers! Drop those plan C peeps from your numbers, bitch! That’s some bullshit. The rules say if you’re going to change how you calculate that shit, you have to let people know in advance, and then we need to fucking talk about it first. You can’t just change that shit willy-nilly.”

So then HHS was all like, “We’re gubment, we do WTF we want!”

So then Allina was all like, “See you in court, tight ass!”

SCOTUS listened to their bullshit arguments and was like, “Listen HHS, you cheap mother fuckers. You change a fucking rule, the rules say you gotta tell people about it. Then you all have to talk about it. If there are no objections, or whatever, then you get to change the rule. So you are outta line, bitch!”

7:1 in favor or Allina Health.

Breyer basically was all like, “Do we even give a fuck about this? We’re SCOTUS, and this is some petty bullshit for some punk ass lower court to decide. Get the fuck outta here with this nonsense.”

Kavanaugh was like, “I can’t even be bothered to care about this. I’m out. Not even going to waste my time listening to this nonsense.”

Read about the case and/or hear oral arguments here.

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