Tag Archives: SCOTUS

Average Joe SCOTUS – Apple v. Pepper

Apple are a bunch of control freaks. We know that, right?

Apple only lets you install apps via the app store, and they tack on 30% to the price of the apps from the developers who made them. They say this is so that they can test them and insure that they work properly, but don’t think for a second those holier-than-thou motherfuckers don’t screen out apps they think are immoral or something, like porn.

Pepper was just your average consumer who felt like they were being raped by Apple. The 30% drives up the cost quite high, and Apple prevents anyone else from competing with them. So Pepper filed an anti-trust suit, saying Apple are being assholes.

Apple said that they only felt that the developers could sue, not the peons that use their shit, based on a previous precedent involving some Brick company in Illinois.

SCOTUS agreed with Pepper though 5:4, that Apple can go eat a bag of dicks. If Pepper wants to sue, go ahead and sue, already.

Everyone who thought Kavanaugh would be a right-wing zealot were left looking a little foolish when he sided with all the left-wing justices on this one.

Anti-trust suits to follow, almost assuredly.

Read about the case and/or listen to oral arguments here

Average Joe SCOTUS – Nieves v. Bartlett

Bartlett was being an asshole, harassing people and shit, and someone called the cops on him.

Bartlett told the cops to “go forth and multiply” when they arrived. Rather unamused by Bartlett’s words and actions, cops busted his ass.

The people who called the cops dropped charges, so no crime committed or prosecuted. So with no crime hanging over him, Bartlett argued the cops busted him for his directive that the officers go forth and multiply, arresting him for his free speech.

SCOTUS told Bartlett, “Listen asshole. The cops were there because you were being a dick and harassing other people. Not because you were a dick to them after they got there. So if you hadn’t been a dick at first, you’d have been fine.”

Eight out of nine justices ruled for Nieves (the arresting officer), saying, “Now fuck off, Bartlett. Maybe you should drink less alcohol, douchebag.”

Sotomayor, the only dissenter thinks 8 out of nine SCOTUS justices is an idiot.

Listen to oral arguments and/or read about the case here.

Average Joe SCOTUS – Lorenzo v. Securities and Exchange Commission

Francis Lorenzo worked for an investment firm as the director of investment. He was helping a company called Waste2Energy (W2E) secure funding by offering shares of their company as an investment.

W2E had some crazy idea that they could make the environment better by converting waste to energy, thus the name. However, they were just starry-eyed dreamers, and their shit-to-shine ideas were bogus AF, and didn’t work.

So now all these investors in W2E had largely invested in a company that was peddling bullshit.

In order to protect investors a bit, W2E offered debentures, which are basically debt secured by future earnings potential, versus any actual assets. I know, sounds shady AF, right?

Lorenzo emailed investors that their investments were safe as hell, because of these debentures, , the assets W2E does have, and that his company was backing the investment themselves. He said this info came from his boss. The assets were the important part, and let’s just say Lorenzo’s estimation of the assets values were about as accurate as a presidential campaign promise.

The SEC, realizing this was bullshit of the highest order, charged Lorenzo, and his boss, with fraud. Lorenzo tried to say, “Hey, I was just doing what that shady mother fucker told me to do. I’m innocent.” Lorenzo feels like since he’s just a dumb employee, and not the boss, only the boss should be responsible for breaking the law.

6 Justices think Lorenzo is full of shit, and that him and his boss can go eat a bag of dicks. They both know better, and they will pay accordingly. Gorsuch and Thomas disagreed, only wanting Lorenzo’s boss to munch on those nuts. Kavanaugh couldn’t be bothered and went to play some golf.

Hear oral arguments, or read about the case here.

Average Joe SCOTUS – BNSF Railway Co. v. Loos

This dude Loos worked at BNSF railway and got his dumb ass injured.

He was fired, because BNSF realized he was an idiot, and ain’t nobody got time for that shit.

Because he got hurt on the job, he sued and won money to compensate him for his injuries and lost wages, because apparently, being an idiot is an acceptable excuse for getting your dumb ass hurt on the job.

BNSF took out taxes, because you know the govt don’t give a f*** where the money comes from, they want a cut.

Loos sued because he wanted all his cash, saying it was money for injury, and not pay that would be subject to normal tax.

SCOTUS ruled 7:2, the majority basically saying IDGAF where the money came from or why, we’re taking our cut, bitch. Federal Govt is life, dawg!

Read the full case and hear the oral arguments here.

Average Joe SCOTUS – Republic of Sudan v. Harrison

In 2000, Al Qaeda bombed the USS Cole. Remember that shit?

Well, the families of the people injured, believing that Sudan had enabled those mother***ers, sued Sudan for damages.

New York sent a letter to the Sudanese embassy in the US to be delivered to their minister of foreign affairs in Sudan.

Sudan basically argued the suit should have been delivered directly to Sudan, in the country of Sudan, and not to the embassy as an intermediary.

SCOTUS in an 8:1 decision agreed, that the embassy can’t be trusted with that shit, and determined all suits must be delivered directly to the person in question.

Clarence Thomas thinks on this issue, the other 8 justices are idiots.

Read about the case and listen to the audio here.

Average Joe SCOTUS – Bucklew v. Presythe

This asshole named Bucklew murdered someone and was sentenced to death.

Bucklew found some medical info, likely bullshit, that said because he has some weird medical condition, he might choke to death vs just dying from the lethal injection peacefully—thus deeming his execution cruel and unusual, because you know, he’s f***ing special or something.

Bucklew also thought the people giving the injection were probably buffoons, and he was afraid they’d f*** it up.

SCOTUS poetically said, “F*** you, Bucklew! You’ll die how we say you’ll die, and you’ll like it”

SCOTUS also said, “Who the f*** you think you are, bitch? I’m sure they hired competent peeps to end you. Deal with it.”

And by SCOTUS, I mean the five conservative justices. The other four fought valiantly, but lost anyway.

Read about the case and hear oral arguments here.

How The Constitution Could Have Been Better At Limiting Government

In America, our legislation process is laid out in the Constitution and for the most part, is fairly simple on the face of it.

I’m not going to go into the procedural issues. I know that legislation has passed the House of Representatives, only to sit on the Senate majority leader’s desk without a vote, and vice versa. I don’t think anyone outside of congress understands all that underlying and overcomplicated nonsense. There’s a good chance most of them prefer that lack of transparency—a problem in its own right.

But once a law does get to a vote, a simple majority of congress people and senators vote, and the majority wins. The exceptions of course being articles of impeachment, amending the Constitution, overriding a veto, suspending congressional rules, or ending a filibuster, which require a supermajority.

The 1st Amendment
The 1st Amendment

On occasion, after a law is passed, it gets constitutionally challenged and ends up in the Supreme Court. Again, a simple majority of the justices determine if the Constitution was violated, then either uphold or strike it accordingly.

While this process seems to make sense at first; being a person who loves thought exercises as I do, I think our Constitution could be better.

We all should understand that the Constitution was intended as a guarantor of our rights, so with the intention of keeping government limited, I feel the founding fathers could have done it better.

My blue sky thinking premise is pretty simple.

Instead of allowing a simple majority to draft laws which grow government, I would require that a two-thirds majority be needed for passage of all laws where a restriction on the people is proposed. Tax increases, regulations on commerce, but a few examples. Only laws which are restrictions on government, such as in the Bill Of Rights, or efforts to strike laws already on the register could be passed with a simple majority.

My reason for this is to make expansion of government incredibly difficult for legislators, by ensuring that the laws they do pass will likely transcend political agendas and are legislation most rational people on the left and the right would agree on. Yet at the same time, it would make it easy for any legislator wearing a their libertarian hat that day to reduce the size and scope of government by simple majority.

But we can take this a step further by foisting this principle on the Supreme Court as well. If SCOTUS agrees to hear a case, before arguments even start, they would have to establish whether the law is a restriction on government or the people. Any law deemed a restriction on the people would be struck down unless a 2/3 majority choose to uphold it. I don’t know that a restriction-on-government law has ever been challenged, but only a simple majority would be needed for such a law to stand.

The Supreme Court Of The United States
The Supreme Court Of The United States

While I know I write about the Constitution often and hold it in incredibly high regard, I think it’s quite important to understand it was a document written by imperfect men, and more importantly, had little historical evidence to go off of for guidance. As such, our founders had to write it to the best of their abilities, and hope the amendments process would fix any misgivings they may have omitted.

The fact that the 18th amendment was allowed to pass (Alcohol prohibition) is clear proof that a little trial and error was always in play. So while I understand some might think me politically sacrilegious for suggesting a modification to our beloved Constitution, I am not painting a moustache on the Mona Lisa here.

There is a great divide between libertarians like me who propose constitutional amendments from others who would either dismiss the Constitution altogether, or who want to add more restrictions like the reprehensible Defense of Marriage Act, which has no place in a document designed to protect rights. I’m looking to add more teeth to the document, whereas, many Democrats and some Republicans are looking to defang it so that it’s bite no longer restricts their social engineering agenda. cropped-cropped-conssign1.jpg

It’s been untouched since 1992, but thanks to a Congress, Senate, and sadly a Supreme Court, who don’t seem too concerned about liberty this days, our Constitution could use a little dose of adrenaline. Our rights are supremely important, and while we would never stand for an elimination of them altogether, the constant erosion of them has been in place for centuries. “We the people” have the power, not government. Let’s help those in Washington who were elected to serve us help them remember that.