Tag Archives: Foreign Affairs Reform and Restructuring Act

Average Joe SCOTUS: Nasrallah v. Barr

Lebanese douchebag Nidal Khalid Nasrallah came the United States in 2006 at 17 on a tourist visa. He liked it so much here, versus his piece of shit country Lebanon, that he eventually become a legal permanent resident. I call it a piece of shit for reasons you’re about to read in a bit. So read on.

Nidal got busted trafficking some stolen goods, was tried and prosecuted accordingly. In this country, if you’re not a citizen, and you commit certain crimes (think much worse than simple misdemeanors), your residence can be revoked, and you can be sent back to your home country.

If you want to come here and stay here, we expect you not to be a fucking criminal. Pretty fair, really.

Anyway, a judge ordered his ass booted out. But here’s why not only is Nidal a piece of shit, but so is his country. You see, Nidal’s religion is Druze. Which is some weird Labanese religion, that can somehow be Muslim or Christian. Don’t even get me started on this shit.

Well, the Hezbollah and ISIS elements of Lebanon aren’t down with that Druze shit. So add that to his Western ties, it’s likely his dumb ass would be tortured and killed if he were sent back. Maybe he should have fucking thought of that before he committed a crime here, huh?

Anyway, while his crimes are justification for expulsion, the United States has a policy against deporting someone who we know will likely be tortured and killed. So now we have a conflict, right?

There is a jurisdictional issue at play here, which is largely what SCOTUS is being asked to resolve. Because while the judge hearing the arguments about how he’d be tortured allowed Nidal to stay (deferred his deportation), the courts denied Nidal’s deferral stating that the judge had no authority to overrule the Bureau of Immigration’s decisions to deport this motherfucker.

In a 7:2 decision, SCOTUS sided with Nasrallah. He’ll probably be tortured and killed in Lebanon, so he can stay, serve his time in a US prison for his actions, and then go on about his merry way. That Convention Against Torture claims trump the removal orders for non-citizens.

Hear oral arguments and read about the case here.