Category Archives: SCOTUS For The Average Joe

Average Joe SCOTUS – Republic of Sudan v. Harrison

In 2000, Al Qaeda bombed the USS Cole. Remember that shit?

Well, the families of the people injured, believing that Sudan had enabled those mother***ers, sued Sudan for damages.

New York sent a letter to the Sudanese embassy in the US to be delivered to their minister of foreign affairs in Sudan.

Sudan basically argued the suit should have been delivered directly to Sudan, in the country of Sudan, and not to the embassy as an intermediary.

SCOTUS in an 8:1 decision agreed, that the embassy can’t be trusted with that shit, and determined all suits must be delivered directly to the person in question.

Clarence Thomas thinks on this issue, the other 8 justices are idiots.

Read about the case and listen to the audio here.

Average Joe SCOTUS – Bucklew v. Presythe

This asshole named Bucklew murdered someone and was sentenced to death.

Bucklew found some medical info, likely bullshit, that said because he has some weird medical condition, he might choke to death vs just dying from the lethal injection peacefully—thus deeming his execution cruel and unusual, because you know, he’s f***ing special or something.

Bucklew also thought the people giving the injection were probably buffoons, and he was afraid they’d f*** it up.

SCOTUS poetically said, “F*** you, Bucklew! You’ll die how we say you’ll die, and you’ll like it”

SCOTUS also said, “Who the f*** you think you are, bitch? I’m sure they hired competent peeps to end you. Deal with it.”

And by SCOTUS, I mean the five conservative justices. The other four fought valiantly, but lost anyway.

Read about the case and hear oral arguments here.