Feeding Cats 101: Your Cat May Love You, but They Don’t Share Your Ideals

Since my rather handsome one-eyed cat Gadget often tries to make the argument that I do not feed him enough, I decided to do some research. As it turns out, the portions I was providing him were spot on, but along the way, I discovered some interesting and disturbing stuff that I thought I’d share.

Gadget aka Killer
Gadget aka Killer

An average cat should eat about one 6 oz. can of wet food, or two 3 oz. cans of the stuff, and that’s a good portion. This of course makes sense since that’s typically how such cans are packed.

Cats are often overfed, and like people, get overweight and suffer health problems as a result. So don’t let your cat fool you with those sad “feed me” eyes that evolution has seen fit to equip them with over time. It’s a total trick! If you’re giving them approximately 6 oz., and they’re around 8 lbs. or so, you’re providing them what they need. All that being said, don’t just take my word for it, please consult your vet regarding your specific cat, as just like people, not all cats are the same, and yours may have unique dietary needs based on its weight or medical condition.

Random Fat Cat
Random Fat Cat

Here’s the interesting bit I found. Cats aren’t really big into drinking water and rarely opt to do so unless really dehydrated. In their natural habitat, they get the water they need from eating the meat they catch, which of course has water in it.

However, if they’ve had the good fortune of not having to hunt because they have you for a provider, dry food has 5-10% water content, but canned moist food is about 78% water. If you don’t provide them moist food, dry food isn’t necessarily bad, just know that you need to be diligent about providing more water for them if you do.

If you currently give them dry food, and opt to switch them to moist, you’ll likely notice they don’t drink nearly as much water. I did. That’s entirely normal.

Now that we’ve covered the good stuff, let’s talk about the bad. This part really REALLY upset me while doing my research.

It turns out some vegan/vegetarian zealots have opted to put their cat on a vegan diet. If you’re one of those people, seriously, what the hell is wrong with you?

Cat’s are natural carnivores, not omnivores like us. You’re being a selfish and a self-righteous jerk. If you’re a biologist or veterinarian, you might be able to pull off supplementing their diet properly to get them the nutrients they need if you opted to go this route, but most do not have such knowledge.

The circle of life is that living organisms (plants and animals) all feed off other living organisms (plants and animals again) almost entirely. Almost everything you eat is either a life form, or a byproduct of a life form. It’s the NATURAL order of things. I get that animal life has a conscious mind, and can feel pain, and therefore eating animals seems heartless and unnecessary, but billions of years of evolution has made many animals, and even some plants into meat eaters.

Venus Fly Trap vs Black Widow Spider
Venus Fly Trap vs Black Widow Spider

If you choose to be less than natural in your diet; so be it. But how dare you be cruel to your animal by forcing them to comply with your unnatural diet that is rather unhealthy for them. I assure you that while they have unconditional love for you, your ideals about not killing or exploiting other animals is not shared by them one iota.lab_cheetah[1]

A cheetah has never caught a gazelle and thought to themselves, “you know, I feel bad for this gazelle, there’s got to be a better way.” and let it go. Like all animals, occasionally, they make social connections, which is why you see dogs and cheetahs befriend each other, or man and tiger. But when cats are hungry, their bodies are evolved to eat meat. Far more than omnivorous humans, and you’re being cruel and sadistic depriving them of it because you want to impose your unnatural views on them.

By all means, consume what brings you the most joy in life, but give your animal the same respect and provide them that which makes them healthiest and able to most enjoy life as well.

Drop some genius on me here.

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