Daily Archives: October 5, 2021

SCOTUS For The Average Joe

Average Joe SCOTUS: TransUnion LLC v. Ramirez

Leave a comment

Sergio Ramirez and his wife went to buy a car. And by buy, I mean, finance one. In order to get a loan, they of course, had to fill out a credit report. Problem for Sergio, was that his name was on a terrorist list from the Treasury Department’s Office of Foreign Assets Control (OFAC). Let me be clear, Sergio himself was innocent AF, but his NAME was on a list. Presumably, some other douchebag Sergio Ramirez was the problem, not this Sergio.

As such, the banks can’t loan him shit as a matter of law. So they ended up buying the car in the wife’s name, and going on about their lives.

A day later though, Sergio was like, “WTF, man? I need to look into this.” So he obtained a copy of the report from TransUnion. Ramirez being worried this might fuck some shit up, canceled a trip he had planned to Mexico, fearing he might not be able to return.

Eventually, he got Trans Union to fix the issue, so his name was no longer flagged. But he was still pretty pissed off about the whole thing, and decided to sue in federal court, and started a class action (where a bunch of people sue as a group), as he felt this whole thing was a violation of the Fair Credit Reporting Act (FCRA).

Here’s the thing. In a previous case,  Spokeo v. Robins, SCOTUS ruled that in order to sue, you have to show damages. You can’t just sue because you’re pissed off your rights were violated. You have to show that the violation harmed you in some way. So that’s sort of what’s at issue here. Maybe Sergio can show he was harmed because he couldn’t buy a car. But all the people in the class action may have had no harm at all. They were just wrongly on a list, and once removed off that list, would be perfectly fine.

So TransUnion is saying, “Hey look at Spokeo. A lot of these assholes didn’t have anything bad happen to them. It was just an honest mistake. We don’t owe them shit, and they shouldn’t even be able to sue us.” In TransUnion’s argument, they basically said a majority of these assholes were merely sent a letter telling them of their placement on the list, which gives them an opportunity to correct it, if it’s wrong. That’s not harm being done to them, and therefore they shouldn’t be able to sue.

Ramirez colorfully argues, “We all suffered the same injury. You motherfuckers called us terrorists, when we’re not.” He’s going for a defamation argument, basically.

The US government also argued in this case, from a somewhat middle ground. They agree Ramirez and company were ass-raped. But they think the lower courts failed to consider properly how Ramirez claimed his “injuries” were typical, and thus shouldn’t be part of a larger class action. They should sue individually, based on their individual damages, and if they weren’t harmed, then they should politely go fuck themselves.

In a narrow 5:4 ruling where Thomas, Breyer, Sotomayor, and Kagan dissented, SCOTUS ruled in favor of TransUnion. Only someone who can show real fucking damages, not some petty shit like their feelings were hurt, can sue for damages. Specifically, they have to show they suffered real harm, that the injury was traceable to WTF the plaintiff did, and that an award of damages can make fairly reward them.

Of the 8185 people in the class action, only 1853 were affected by it, and have standing to sue. The other people are in a “No harm no foul” situation, and go fly a kite.

Hear oral arguments or read about the case here

https://www.oyez.org/cases/2020/20-297

SCOTUS For The Average Joe

Average Joe SCOTUS: Goldman Sachs Group Inc. v. Arkansas Teacher Retirement System

Leave a comment

If SCOTUS has a snoozefest award, this case probably gets it. Goldman Sachs (GS), in their advertisements and statements have said things like, “Our clients’ interests always come first,” “Integrity and honesty are at the heart of our business,” and “We are dedicated to complying fully with the letter and spirit of the laws, rules, and ethical principles that govern us.”

The defendants at Arkansas Teacher Retirement System (ATRS) say these statements are misleading, and caused the price of the securities GS sold them to be distorted, and thus they presumably lost money when investing with them.

I don’t know about you, but I can’t imagine that such general marketing bullshit affects any stock price, so this seems like a total stretch to me, but still, here we are. Sometimes, I think SCOTUS takes a case because they lost a bet or something.

ATRS is alleging that they failed to disclose conflicts of interest in their dealings, which defies the statements above. So essentially, that’s their beef, that GS claimed all this integrity and honesty bullshit, while hiding their conflicts of interest.

At issue here is also whether a class action suit can be brought forth, or whether each individual who feels wronged by GS should have to file independently, and show that they invested wrongly, during a period between when GS made their general marketing bullshit statements, and when it was later discovered they failed to disclose their conflicts of interest.

In a 6:3 “who gives a fuck” decision, where Thomas, Alito, and Gorsuch dissented, SCOTUS ruled in favor for Goldman Sachs. Essentially telling these whiny little cunts to piss off with their Karenny bullshit. These claims were generic as fuck. There’s no way that you lost money, because you bought stock based on a bullshit marketing claim just about any company says about themselves.

Hear oral arguments or read about the case here

https://www.oyez.org/cases/2020/20-222

SCOTUS For The Average Joe

Average Joe SCOTUS: Caniglia v. Strom

Leave a comment

This dude Edward Caniglia was a bit of a drama queen. One night, after a particularly heated argument with his wife, he grabbed his gun, and started acting like he wanted her to kill him, or he was going to kill himself.

His wife Kim was like, “This mother fucker’s crazy. I’m out!” She left, and found some other place to stay for the night, leaving him to marinate in his craziness all on his own.

The next morning, she was like, “I wonder if he really did kill himself?”

So she called the cops, and together, they headed to the house to see if “Schroedinger’s husband” was dead or alive. Not only was he alive, he was fairly chill, and nothing untoward happened when confronted by the fuzz.

He admitted to the incident, so he was taken to a hospital for a psych evaluation. In the meantime, Officer Strom, under approval from his boss, but NOT under approval by Caniglia, took Caniglia’s guns out of the home, until Caniglia’s mental health issues were squared away.

Caniglia argued that he only agreed to go to the hospital if the cops pinky-promised not to take his guns. Strom and company were like, “Dude, he never said anything like that.”

Caniglia was never admitted, and doctors essentially determined he wasn’t crazier than a shithouse rat, and let him go. But, the cops weren’t so convinced, and continued to hold the Caniglia’s guns for a few months, until they finally got sick of his bitching and moaning and gave them back.

Once returned, you’d think that would be the end of it. But oh no. Caniglia was like, “No American should suffer an injustice like I did. So I’ll do the most American thing I can do, and sue these motherfuckers for violating my constitutional rights, maybe even get a little scratch for my troubles.” And so he did.

While it might seem like a violation of the fourth amendment on the face of it, which is what he was arguing, there is a “community caretaking” exemption recognized currently, where if officers are just trying to help someone, they can’t be considered to be violating your rights. Like, let’s say they see a guy beating up his wife inside a house, they can bust in and raid her without a warrant. Or if they knock on your door, and see you lying on the floor as if you’ve passed out or died, they can come in to rescue you. Shit like that.

Well, Strom and company are essentially arguing that this is an extension of that.

Chief Justice Roberts came out asking straight forward, “Imagine some old biddy was supposed to go to her neighbor’s house for dinner, and doesn’t show up. So the neighbor calls the fuzz and asks them to check on her, because she’s more reliable than the IRS. So the cops go to the house, knock on the door and get no answer, but the door is open, so they walk the fuck on in to make sure she’s OK. But then, she’s not even home, but walks in on the officers looking for her and is like, ‘WTF are you assholes doing in my home?’ Is that a violation she can sue for?”

Fair question, that Justice Thomas also pressed on, both seemingly looking for the line that’s crossed to make community caretaking turn into something that is a violation of the person’s rights.

Counsel for Caniglia had a pretty solid argument that there was no emergency situation here, in response to Justice Kagan, who asked:

Elena Kagan

You said that the Respondents here had waived the argument that this was a true emergency. Putting the waiver question aside, why wasn’t this a true emergency?

Shay Dvoretzky

Justice Kagan, the only basis that the officers had for thinking that Mr. Caniglia was potentially suicidal was a statement that he made the night before.

But 12 hours had passed since that statement.

He was in the home with the guns during that time, nothing had happened, and the officers said that when they spoke with Mr. Caniglia, he seemed calm, normal, and polite. Those circumstances don’t make out an emergency that requires immediate action without involving a mental health professional, a neutral decision maker, and so forth, rather than just the officer’s discretion.

His argument being, if there was an emergency twelve hours ago, he had all that time to kill himself, and didn’t do it. While the officers may have just operated under the “better safe than sorry” principle, in this instance, that’s still a violation of his rights.

Counsel for Strom, takes a very liberal view of community caretaking. Take this hypothetical from Justice Barrett:

Amy Coney Barrett

Let’s talk about how far this exception might go because, obviously, there’s a lot of concern about it being an umbrella for a lot of sorts — lots of different things. Let’s say that in a town with a high rate of COVID infections, police look through the window and they can see a lot of people gathered together that are not wearing masks. Can they enter?

Marc Desisto

Yes.

As you can see, Strom’s side is more than willing to come into your home, if they think they can imagine just about any cause which involves enforcing the law to save lives, which is frankly, somewhat scary.

In a unanimous decision, SCOTUS sided with liberty. The “community caretaking” exception does not extend to the home. While they agreed, officers may assist someone by entering into their home sans warrant, they can’t seize shit while they’re there, though.

Hear oral arguments and read about the case here

https://www.oyez.org/cases/2020/20-157

and here

There’s no place like home?

SCOTUS For The Average Joe

Average Joe SCOTUS: United States v. Cooley

Leave a comment

As you may know, in the United States, long ago, there were people who lived here when Europeans showed up. Long story short, we moved in, and largely kicked them out. However, being prone to feeling a little guilty when we fuck people over, we reserved some land for them to live on, and we call that land reservations.

Within those reservations, they have their own laws, and their own police to enforce them, and those rules are for Native Americans, and not non-Native people, like my lily white ass.

Joshua Cooley was also a non-native, driving through the reservation during the wee hours of the morning, with his ankle biter in tow. Apparently, he’d had one helluva night, because he was tired AF, and decided to pull over and rest a bit.

The area he was in, is notable for spotty mobile phone reception, and Crow Highway Safety Officer James Saylor was driving by and stopped to help him. It’s pretty common for us non-native folks to get lost and find themselves on a reservation. So they do their best to help us out.

When Saylor approached the vehicle and asked if he could help, he noticed Cooley’s kid in the truck, that Cooley himself seemed kinda out of it, and that he also seemed non-Native. As such, Indian law says Saylor should have called the white fuzz. But he didn’t. He kept asking Cooley questions.

As he was talking to him, he noticed a few semi-automatic rifles in the truck, and then Cooley got the “crazy eyes” going as if he was about to go ape shit. So Saylor drew his weapon and asked him to get out of the truck, placed him in the squad car, and called the normal rozzers. He then went on to search the truck, and found some meth. So now it’s a fucking party.

Surprisingly, the issue here, isn’t about a search and seizure as you might suspect, it’s about the fact that a native American cop should be allowed to detain a non-Native citizens within a reservation for crimes like drugs and illegal firearms and shit. If this were a regular cop off the reservation, all of this would have been a normal Tuesday night.

During opening questioning, Counsel for the United States argued:

Eric J. Feigin

I think it’s pretty clear from Strate and I believe Your Honor’s opinion in Atkinson that the authority we’re talking about today is meaningfully different. The main logic of not subjecting non-Indians to tribal adjudication or legislation is that they have no say in making those laws.

Here, this is about the enforcement of laws to which they’re — the non-Indians are indubitably subject.

Essentially saying, the cops can do their part, native or not. But if there ends up being charges and an attempt at prosecution, then that would be the duty of the US government, and not the reservation.

In a unanimous ruling, SCOTUS sided with the United States (the native Americans) against Cooley. They basically argued you can’t handcuff native cops like that. If something is up, you can’t expect them to do nothing, while they wait for non-native cops to show up. That’s dumb AF.

Of course the white dude might be tried and prosecuted off the reservation, but at least those cops can mitigate the threat in the mean time.

Hear oral arguments and read about the case here

https://www.oyez.org/cases/2020/19-1414

SCOTUS For The Average Joe

Average JOE SCOTUS: Cedar Point Nursery v Hassid

Leave a comment

First things first, I fucking hate labor unions. They are the wart on America’s asshole. This case has done nothing to change my opinion of them. Nine years ago, I wrote about why I think they shouldn’t even be legal here. It’s a little dated, and I feel my writing and logical arguments are probably better know, so I should rewrite that shit. But anyway, moving on.

We all know those Californians loves them some fucking labor unions, and they have pretty favorable laws regarding those cunts (I use cunts in the British or Aussie way as a general pejorative, not the American way as a sexist attack on women. So back the fuck up off me with that noise). Well, Cedar Point Nursery owns a strawberry farm in California, and the United Farm Worker (UFW) cunts showed up on their land with bullhorns and shit, convincing some workers to come off their jobs and join protests, while most just kept on working. They are supposed to give notice ahead of the time, to let the site prepare for them, but they didn’t.

The issue here though, is that California law forces companies to allow such unions on to their property to talk to their employees, which is fucking bullshit, in a country that is supposed to have property rights, but I digress.

Cedar Point is challenging such laws under the fifth amendment, considering it an unlawful takings of property. Think of it this way, if the government can basically just tell the property owner they have no right to control who comes on their property, and can’t even charge the people money who come onto their property, the government is effectively taking control of their property.

Counsel for Cedar Point opened with:

Joshua P. Thompson

Thank you, Mr. Chief Justice, and may it please the Court: An access easement that takes the right to enter, occupy, and use another’s private property effects a per se physical taking under the Fifth Amendment.

Any time limitations placed on access go towards the just compensation due, not whether a taking has occurred. The access regulation at issue in this case authorizes an easement on the property of Petitioners for the benefit of union organizers. Under the terms of the Access Regulation, organizers may occupy the businesses’ property for three hours each day, 120 days each year. This Court should hold that the taking of this easement violates the Fifth Amendment because it effects a physical taking without compensation, and the Court should so hold for two reasons. First, the appropriation of a real property interest triggers a categorical duty to compensate.

The Access Regulation authorizes the taking of a real property interest in the form of a continual right to occupy and use Petitioners’ property. And, second, at a more fundamental level, the Access Regulation denies Petitioners the right to exclude union organizers from their property.

Such an infringement on the most fundamental property right merits per se treatment. The Ninth Circuit, however, took a different tack.

It demoted the right to exclude to just another stick in the bundle and would give per se treatment only to those rare easements that authorize 24/7 occupation. Not even the Board supports that extreme rule.

But the Board offers no basis, much less a principled one, on which to distinguish access easements that merit per se treatment from those that don’t. If the government wants to take an access easement over private property, it has to pay for it.

Failure to pay just compensation violates the Takings Clause. I welcome the Court’s questions.

The Cedar Point people acknowledge that historically, such workers lived on the land, and thus, were really never able to be exposed to unions and shit, since they would never leave the property.

But now we have shit like internet and cars, and it’s pretty fucking easy for people to get info like this. Plus, most of those workers don’t live on the property anymore, presumably because others laws about being a landlord are a pain in the ass these days.

Not that I give a fuck about the California Board’s rules that support the union, but their argument is like, “Hey, we only come before and after work, and during lunch. That’s fair, isn’t it?”

Justice Barrett seemed to be willing to accept Cedar Point’s argument as absolute, when she opened this question at them.

So let me ask you this: What if California had a regulation that permitted union organizers to go onto the property of your clients one hour a day, one day a year.

Is that a taking subject to the per se rule?

Counsel agreed.

However, counsel had previously agreed that if people were living on the property, and didn’t have access to this info otherwise, he could see where such a rule allowing them onto the property could be an exception to a takings clause.  Barrett’s question was effectively saying, “I don’t even see how you allow that if you’re argument is true.”

Hard to tell if she believes in that absolutism, but if she does, I actually agree with her. Fuck those union pricks.

Once the California Board’s side stepped up, Justice Thomas had an interesting line of questioning.

Clarence Thomas

I’m quite interested in how related the inspection or the opportunity to be on private property has to do with the—how related does it have to be to the business operation. For example, could you have the exact same requirement, except during non-business hours for the property to be available for training of the — of the National Guard, for example, or the state police? Since it’s — since it’s open property, just simply say for three hours a day, not more than 120 days a year, but certainly not to interfere with the business, the state police could train there?

Counsel for California was of the opinion, this was very different, and would in fact be a violation of the property owner’s rights. But Thomas, seemingly unimpressed with that load of horse shit, pressed him that if the cops can’t come and train there after hours, why can the union come and agitate their workers after business hours.

Counsel salvaged himself by saying that the union workers are there on matters related to the work being done there, and to assist the workers, as opposed to the cops just using his land for their own personal gain.

In a 6:3 entirely partisan ruling, the conservative justices ruled in favor of Cedar Point Nursery, telling the labor unions to go eat a bag of dicks. This decision makes me want to cheer loudly. Fuck those labor union pricks in the ass. Government cannot force an employer to allow union assholes onto their property. Now fuck off with that noise.

I’m not even going to dignify the minority’s opinions with an explanation. Unions don’t deserve an ounce of such respect. It’s extortion and racketeering by any other name. Good riddance.

Hear oral arguments and read about the case here.

https://www.oyez.org/cases/2020/20-107